So it happened.. I looked in the mirror and thought “girl you’re beautiful”.
I know, you’re like “really?” But for YEARS I couldn’t see it. I based my worth on the opinions of a boyfriend and I often found myself empty. Esteem-less.
Between social media and people I knew, I fell into the trap of comparisons. Add the extra 40 pounds that never left after having a child and there you will find me hiding. I couldn’t see the great things about myself, only the flaws. I needed so badly to hear what my boyfriend thought because he was my standard. I cared so much about how he felt and how I compared to the ladies who got all the likes on IG. The more he didn’t validate me, the worse I felt and the more I compared. I was my own worse critic and I didn’t understand the damage I was inflicting on myself.
With the breakup came revelation. The reality was- how can I expect a man to treat my properly when I forgot my status of royalty? When instead of standing as a Queen, I presented myself as a beggar in the streets. Powerless unless someone decided to take notice of me?
Now, it’s just about me! It’s in this space that I’m learning to love and appreciate me- ALL of me. I know my insecurities won’t go away overnight but everyday I can choose to look in the mirror and tell myself “you are beautiful”. Everyday I can choose to plant a seed in my own heart of love and value. Everyday I can acknowledge a detail the Lord made me with that makes me special.
So that day was huge. To look at myself and genuinely smile. No comparisons or critiques. Just a blissful moment of acknowledging God’s masterpiece.
And YOU are beautiful too.