Sometimes it takes a big fall on your butt to clear your head of the disillusions.
These past 4 months have truly been topsy-turvy for me. The relative sereneness of 2018 seems so far away as I fight through 2019. I have cried, exploded on others due to frustration, neglected myself as well as my relationship with God. I returned to some bad habits and found myself confused as to how I got here. The truth is I drifted due to partial obedience, impatience, and trying to take matters into my own hands.
This morning, I watched a video that my sister in Christ sent me. (Side note: DO NOT underestimate the power of Godly relationships). It was Marked (Part 1) with Pastor Michael Todd. It talked about how Saul was actually the first chosen but due to his partial obedience and pride, God chose to remove him and anoint another in his place. Often we see the glory of the David story, but many of us are Saul! God has a grand plan and assignment for us but we disqualify ourselves for various reasons. And like Saul, who still ruled for another 40+ years after the removal of God’s anointing, many of us are missing the key to getting back into realignment: repentance.
My son got into big trouble last week and after school that particular day, he tried to overload with with conversation. I knew he was trying to reestablish the culture and connection between us. But he had not addressed the offense. Once we got home, I sat him down to have a conversation about it. His response was:
“I know I messed up but I just wanted things to go back to normal. So I just wanted to talk to you and forget about it”.
Obviously as a mom I had to educate him on the proper way to handle disobedience, but how many of us do that with God?!?! We know we have sinned, we know we have been disobedient and instead of addressing the issue head on we offer soft apologies or try to move on with a blind eye. But our Heavenly Father isn’t going to let that fly!
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. – 2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
Like Saul, because of His great grace and mercy, we all have an opportunity to begin again! To become “remarked”. Each day He allows us to live is an opportunity for repentance and realignment. Though a hard pill to swallow and a dosage of humility, I would rather repent than to forfeit my forever legacy!
And Samuel said to Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God, which He commanded you. For now the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. -1 Samuel 13:13 NKJV
What do you need to go to the throne of grace for?
What is it that you have been partially obedient to?
How bad do you want His plans of good for your life?
I want it bad. So I’m starting today. And you can too.